WHAT GENDER IS A COMPUTER?

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He noted how hurricanes at one time were given only female names, and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she." One of the students raised her hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"

The teacher wasn't certain. So he divided the class into two groups:

males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendations. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to as masculine because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
   

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
   

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem.
   

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
   

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to as feminine because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
   

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
   

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term  memory for later  retrieval.
   

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.
   

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed next to each other. The chicken is wearing a satisfied grin all over his face. The egg rolls over in a huff and pulls all the sheets to its side of the bed. "Well I guess we've answered that question then haven't we!" Says the egg moodily.

Q. Why did the bubble gum cross the road?

A. Because it was stuck to the chicken's leg!!!

QUICKIES!

Two Aerials met on a roof, fell in love, & got married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant!

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy said to Dolly
'I was artificially inseminated this morning.'
'I don't believe you,' said Dolly
'It's true, straight up, no bull!'

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts.
The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

LIFE'S LIKE THAT No.1

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a lift home from the office!

LIFE'S LIKE THAT No.2

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard!

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife,

"Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, darling," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your porridge."

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