Student Bodies in a Spin

I’m certain that more than enough has been said about this already but I want to air my views on the subject.
I’ve always had my doubts about Ferraris’ choice of number two and at Austria’s round of the world championship my doubts were confirmed. In the same moment that I started to think I had been wrong all along, and that Rubens was worthy of a drive in the best car in the world, I discovered that the Brazilian should never be allowed to let his presence disgrace a race track or other motorsport venue anywhere in the world ever again. You all know what happened and probably all have an opinion, but when it comes down to it Barrichello had the choice to obey unjust and last minute team orders or be a racer and put his foot down. He chose wrong and showed the world that he is the lowest form of motorsport pondlife, a businessman.
Say what you want about the all conquering hun but at least Schumacher is a racer. He’s out there with only one intention – to win.
An intention I distinctly didn’t have at Lydden for Round 3 of our equivalent of the world championship, the Marketing Machine Speed League. The event of the day caused great mirth at the AGM of the Lithuanian Livestock Handlers Association (L.L.H.A. apparently it’s a bit like the ASWMC). The giggling started when I was moved by the oh so wise people at Rochester M.C. into class D10 (fully modified, rocket powered, makes group B look like its for girls) as they considered the dent in the Golf’s tailgate and lack of opening passenger window modifications. Hmmm! There was blatant guffawing from the direction of the meeting in Vilnius as on the first corner of the first run of my first ever sprint, I went in search of the hit of the whole fruit and got Tangoed on the entry to a very slippery Chessons. I spent the rest of my day going as quick as I could and eventually finished 51st out of 53. There were only 52 finishers but the chap who finished 52nd absolutely must be a one armed Moldovan washerwoman in a blind fold.
Finally my chance came to shut up the bunch of goat lovers on the really rather rapid Swan rally. As on the Kent, fat boy Oli North was in the passenger seat calling the shots in this, our first National B event.  What an event it was! The organisers had chosen some superb roads and as the sun rose over Oxfordshire we were on it. But a very unclear bit of navigation in the Novice road book cost us our only fail of the event and with it second novice. Oh well. We still came home fourth novice and were both pleased with the result. Although talking over the rally later it became clear just how average the 30mph average was, it in fact was a rather high average.
Two days later the intrepid duo headed to Whilton Mill kart circuit for the annual grudge match between Oxford University and their equally rubbish rivals Cambridge. Also along for the ride were Imperial, York, Loughborough and Brookes – hence our presence. Brookes had four karts entered and three finished in the top ten, The actual result was made into a big joke by Imperial’s cheating which I won’t go into. But Brookes were the spiritual winner.
Have just seen the Swan Rally results page, it has a superb graph of how the rally went and it’s clear to see where the map book foxed us and our subsequent charge up the class and oh so close to 3rd as well, in fact we were third until the last passage check. Damn!
A bit of an appeal here - can anybody point me in the right direction to find out the origin of the different disciplines and what brought them to the way they are now? I would be most grateful.
In reply to Dawn’s tale in response to my comments last month I say only this -  Typical example of a woman causing an accident. Accidents are rare when women are not around.
And with a crushing blow I deliver another top ten:

Top Ten Worst Things About Motorsport

1. Kart Racers
Grapefruits one and all, arrogant oranges that’s all they are.

2. Kart Racers’ Dads - Why oh why do they exist? Because level-headed people join motorclubs.

3. Brands Hatch
Expensive place that doesn’t care about anything except money. This attitude keeps most competitors in the UK off the UK’s most fun track.

4. Silverstone
Yawn

5. Formula One
Zzzzzz

6. Boy Racers’ Understanding of Motorsport
Yeah I could beat that Richard Burns any day, my Nova’s got a two litre lump in it.

7. The fact that I have never lapped the Nurburgring
Yes that’s bad for the whole world that is.

8. The way people kill great venues
Brooklands, Crystal Palace, Spa etc.

9. Anglesey
Whose idea was it to build a track here? And make it crap too. It would be great if it were a decent circuit but it’s not.

10. Cost
I need a big buck and foolish sponsor!

Time to go because this post-apocalyptic world is full of mutants who look like David Coulthard.

Sam Collins