Dawn's (and other's) Joke Page:


Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the nursing home taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her and some of the men actually join in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!", he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Craggy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. "Oh, no" said Ethel, "Not the breathalyser again!

YOUNG AT HEART CORNER
Why are chocolate Buttons rude? Because they look like Smarties in the nude!
Why did the jellybean go to school? Because he wanted to be a Smartie!
What do you call a Smartie with a guitar? Chock Berry!!
What do you call a Smartie in a Combine Harvester? Shredded Sweet!
What's the difference between an Maggot and a Cockroach? Cockroaches crunch more when you eat them! (YUCHH!)
Why did the bee have its legs crossed as it flew? It was looking for the BP Station
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THE THREATENED CRACKER JOKES FROM CHIN

Why did the bakers go on strike? They wanted more dough!

What do you get when you jump in the Red Sea? Wet!

What did the sea say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!

How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs!

How do you make a Swiss Roll? Push him down a hill.

How do you stop a skunk smelling? Hold his nose.


IAN CROKER'S CONTRIBUTION


Q: Why is the camel known as the ship of the desert ?
A: Because it is full of Arab semen
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