Student Bodies - Life from the Gravel Trap !

Do any other competition licence holders out there read the imaginatively titled:
Motorsports Now!  the MSA quarterly publication? The first section I read every time is the fantastic judicial proceedings section, half of which is made up of richer circuit racers complaining that they were disqualified from some results because they had a glitch in their air valve gromit. However, the other half is made up almost universally of that strange breed ...the Karting Dad. These dads seem to get upset when they realise that their beloved (spoilt rotten) offspring can’t be bullied into winning, sometimes coming to blows with other karters’ parents (Karting mums have nails!). Every Motorsports Now! has a page dedicated to these idiots. Why can’t these rich dads realise that their sons and daughters will never be a really good driver because the vast majority of them have the reaction times of a grapefruit and the driving talent of a Western Lithuanian goat herder.

Sour grapes on my part perhaps? (My dad sees the automobile as interesting as I find a thermodynamics lecture!) Not really, you see I may just be able to out drive the earlier mentioned livestock handler, but I still know a thing or two about being patently crap! My finishing record in an MSA approved event is 100%. I always come last (which can be quite a good thing in other areas of life!) but then I always enjoy myself I don’t think these bullied (by their dads) karters really do. These kids grow up and become the people who the powers that be in British motorsport listen to. I just wonder whether we want these little brats who cry to try get their own way, running our sport?

Right now I’m watching a TV programme of the 100 greatest sporting moments ever or something like that.  Eileen McArthur is there finishing second in some French boat race, England were there beating the old enemy 5 – 1 (that was so satisfying wasn’t it!). I can see why these are included in the show but what about the closing laps of the 1979 French grand prix? Or Richard Burns winning the WRC? or Ferrari dominance over the years? Nothing. Motorsport in this country seems to be on the wane, well most of it. There is a growing part of the sport that we tend to ignore but could soon be showing the way forward for the MSA in the form of Stock Cars. Why do I say this? The average stock car nut can pay £10 quid and watch the top level of that section of British motorsport, and they can get close to the cars and the stars. A tenner won’t get you into the lowest level clubby meeting at most circuits these days. Look at the difference for a tenner- I can go and watch the likes of myself droning around Brands, in the rain with no shelter. Or on the same day I can pay the same note to get into a stock car circuit and watch the stars I’ve seen on TV in frenetic battle undercover. At Brands I can’t get near the pits and the top paddock where the interesting cars and drivers are to be found. At the stock car meeting I can wander round pretty much as I please.

I blame this on the spoilt brats and their throwback Locke-King era attitudes. These people put people off motorsport, making it seem like it’s an expensive world about as attainable as a Mig fighter jet. But in what case does MSA racing and rallying offer that bloke Joe Public? Crap viewing, no access, lack of publicity, no fun. The amateur level events that offer great competition and access are ignored because no-one bothers to publicise them. Has anyone ever seen a spectator at an Autotest who isn’t a motor club member or a random passer by? They would come and watch but they have no idea about them.

The top promoters in the UK like Octagon have no interest in the spectator or even it seems, the competitors. All they are interested in are the ten pound notes that they bring with them. What has happened to that former top event on the British sporting calendar, our Grand Prix? The “right crowd and no crowding” slogan has seemingly been resurrected and shifted from Surrey to Northamptonshire. The premier national series in this country are being screwed over too. This rot is not just limited to racing, it’s got into the British Rally Championship too. The enthusiastic and skilful amateur can no longer look to take on the big works teams without the huge budgets required to run in Formula Rally. The lower cost lower tech series are being swept under the carpet a bit. Just look what the buggers did to Formula Palmer Audi. This series had decent cars all totally identical with good racing and at a  fixed cost. It died because the little spoilt brats had to face serious opposition from talented amateurs who may not havebeen karting since “daddy bought me a kart when I was 8”. So it’s fizzled and become a very good club single seat series. But oh look! here’s a one make fixed cost series that the MSA have put at the bottom of their ladder of progression. But hang on look who’s running it, the spoilt brats have got their own championship in the form of Formula Zip.

Graham Baker and myself managed to finish last in January’s Scatter but a good time was had (I told you I’d be back!) The old Golf was struggling along with a sick engine and it was still all quite new for this intrepid duo. I hope that Graham and I have the opportunity to team up again in the future.
I visited the Autosport show on Friday where my university was exhibiting the new car, the Isis FS01 as it seems to be called officially, although that’s not what it’s referred to in the workshop! The most striking things about the show are the vast amount of gorgeous girls wearing next to sod all, and some letting rather more show than others (did anyone see the two porn stars on their stands?). We got chatting to the girls from the Superbike stand which was just across from the Brookes stand. We got asked to go out clubbing with them on Saturday night in Birmingham. Well that didn’t happen much to my eternal regret, as I had to pick up the now cured Golf from my house and drive it back to Oxford. Bugger!!!!

Top Ten Car Games
Grand Prix 3 -  Real (PC)
Grand Prix legends – Nurburgring in a Lotus 49 (PC)
Gran Turismo 3 – Stunning (PS2)
Colin Mcrae rally 2.0 – fun (PS2)
Grand Theft Auto 3 – Perfect wind down after the M25 (PS2)
Nascar Heat – 200mph in a tank! (PC)
Grand Prix 2 – Every track ever built (PC)
Network Q RAC rally – old but realistic as hell (PC)
Detroit – Be Henry Ford (PC)
Carmageddon – kill its fun! Especially cows (PC)

Gotta go…..need food!

Sam Collins

The Acorn : February Edition